I am a genius. I have discovered the cure for writers block.
It begins like this:
Enrol in communications at UTS.
Take a subject called Ideas in History.
Attempt to complete a 3000 word essay about modernity or some shit.
You’ll quick smart find that gorgeous motivation for blogging. Some would call it procrastination, but I am an optimist.
And what I have been inspired to write about is….. University!!!
Why? You ask.
Because, well, it’s killing me man.
Being a uni student sucks hard.
Firstly, I have no money.
Maybe if I attended work every now and again things would be looking up, but in the meantime my desire for cocktails and Sass and Bide is way out of balance with my desire to be ‘a financially independent adult’ (Mums words, not mine) who pays rent and doesn’t run out of money on a weekly basis.
I keep wondering if Optus will forget about my phone bill if I leave it long enough, but somehow I don’t think that is highly likely…
I also have no time.
Well, no actual time. Never mind that I keep re-watching old episodes of Gossip Girl and reading A Game of Thrones… I am still soooooo busy.
Between catching up with my billion and one friends who are conveniently from 20 different social groups, trying to appease my family by spending the occasional night at home for a family dinner and watching of The Project (it’s journalism homework, no?), and managing to keep my room in a state where the carpet is semi visible, I am booked out.
Oh and Uni work and all that jazz.
Then there is the commute. The nasty, dirty little commute where the train station is nothing like it appears in the movies. It smells, and is filled with questionable people who look me up and down, likely thinking ‘WTF is that girl wearing?!!’.
Hey, they are called wedges and they rock.
But even high heels are getting boring. The ferry might be good for my soul, but it ain’t good for my tootsies (or my bank account). All that teetering from my house to Manly Wharf, and from Circular Quay to the station, and from Central to UTS….
I have blisters on my blisters.
And then there are the results.
I am sorry, dear tutor, but giving me a Credit is NOT INSPIRING OR MOTIVATING AT ALL!!
I dislike the word ‘Proficient’ more than I dislike socks and sandals. And that’s saying something.
Chuck us a HD and I’ll slave away at my computer, high on the thrill of success.
But starting feedback with: ‘Bella. The main problem I have is…’ makes me want to sleep, do tequila shots and have brunch. Not necessarily in that order.
Did you know that Steve Jobs, Bill Gates and Mark Zuckerberg all dropped out of Uni? (Well, they call it College, but same difference)
Yes, one could gather that the key to becoming a billionaire is: don’t waste three years of your life writing about Foucault and instead invent the next technological fad.
But what do I know?
I am still trying to work out how to find the lecture slides online.
I have never had this before.
School was brilliant. I liked to study. I never skipped class (okay, maybe once).
I spent free periods at the library, finishing off my homework.
I practiced equations for hours, even though they made me want to cry.
I didn’t feel the need to fall asleep at 5pm after a hard day of classes. I just drank some coffee and I churned out essays like Thoreau.
But now ‘studying’ is akin to sitting at my computer and staring blankly at a word document until I get an email from ASOS to distract me (dude, how often do they send those damn things?!!!).
Now, going to lectures is kinda optional, especially those 9am ones.
And a three hour break in the middle of the day means long lunch and gossips with girlfriends.
Where has my motivation gone? That spark? Where is the commitment to my education and drive to achieve?
Is this a lazy, Generation Y ideology that everything is just going to fall in my lap, or is it just a phase?
Please tell me it is a phase.
Ok. Rant over. Getting back to ‘studying’. Until dinner time :)